Wilford Warfstache (
cottoncandypink) wrote2018-12-01 08:35 pm
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Tess
The door opens to Wilford's dressing room. The blue walls are decorated with framed vintage movie posters, opening up for a vanity that doesn't look like it's been used since Wilford moved into the building. Along the exterior brick wall is where Wilford's set up his office, with a few shelves and filing cabinets behind the massive desk. The other side of the room is more of a lounge, with a black leather sofa and matching chair, and a smudged up glass coffee table that shows evidence of small, sticky hands.
Wilford closes the door behind them, only to open it again to reveal the large closet where he keeps several other guns. He stores the rifle in with the rest, making sure the door is locked so the nosy little toddler can't find his way in.
Beyond the door leading to the hall, people are obviously coming and going. Someone's having a heated argument, but the soundproofing in the building is heavy enough that nothing specific can be made out.
Now that there's signal, Wilford pulls out his phone to check the traffic report. Wilford sighs. "Someone dropped a yacht on the beltway," he says.
His phone isn't buzzing with missed texts though, so he's hoping it happened after Andy got past that point.
Wilford closes the door behind them, only to open it again to reveal the large closet where he keeps several other guns. He stores the rifle in with the rest, making sure the door is locked so the nosy little toddler can't find his way in.
Beyond the door leading to the hall, people are obviously coming and going. Someone's having a heated argument, but the soundproofing in the building is heavy enough that nothing specific can be made out.
Now that there's signal, Wilford pulls out his phone to check the traffic report. Wilford sighs. "Someone dropped a yacht on the beltway," he says.
His phone isn't buzzing with missed texts though, so he's hoping it happened after Andy got past that point.
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Somehow that seems appropriate. Not that she really associates him with guns.
The rest of the room is interesting, but not surprising. She wonders why he doesn't have a separate office, though.
She leans on the desk and puts her shoes back on.
"Does he like it here?"
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"Gotta keep them somewhere," he says. He moved all but two of them here a few months ago, since it suddenly didn't seem like the best idea to keep his arsenal at home.
"We don't spend a lot of time here. I try to be done on set by the time Andy drops him off so we can get the hell out of here and get down to the beach."
The group all kind of split up during the bachelor party last year, so Wilford isn't sure how familiar she is with the city.
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"The beach sounds nice."
Though something pings in the back of her mind that little is 'nice' in this city.
"One thing Kansas has few of."
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"I don't think I've ever lived more than a half hour from the ocean. Not that I ever went there back in DC."
He walks around his desk to make sure everything's shut down and turned off so he doesn't forget on his way out.
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These days she doesn't get to enjoy it as much, but so long as there aren't boats involved she has a blast when she does.
She furrows her brow, something finally sinking in.
"How do you drop a yacht on land?"
If challenged, she could probably find a way but she'll leave the explanation to him this time.
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He says this as if people breaking into a military base and successfully stealing vehicles and getting away isn't a massive federal ordeal.
With everything shut down, he has just enough time to go get comfortable on the sofa before someone knocks on the door and lets themselves in. Andy gives Tess a brief glance, acknowledging that she's there and that he won't take up too much of her time as he brings Michael into the room. The backpack he sets down is old, with a certain 90s charm to it. Almost as if it's seen the 90s personally.
Michael looks around the room at Tess, eager to squirm out of Andy's grip and show the new stranger his Barbie.
"I think he's holding onto something from the trash," Andy says as he hands the kid over to Wilford.
"Is that what that is?" he asks. Well, it would explain why no amount of baths seems to get the kid smelling clean.
"I tried to coax it from him, but he's really holding onto it."
Great. Wilford puts the kid down, since he clearly does not went to be held. He immediately trots over to Tess.
"Thanks," Wilford says, not at all looking forward to finding out what Michael's hiding in his inventory now.
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Crouching down, she meets Michael at his level when the boy approaches her.
"Hi. What have you got there?"
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"Ba ba ba ba," he says, probably explaining something.
After a few more moments, Andy starts to leave. "Oh, the beltway's going crazy today. I'd avoid that."
"Yeah, I saw," Wilford says.
As soon as Andy's gone, Wilford grabs the trash can from behind his desk and moves it close to Tess.
"Take everything he gives you. It's his favourite game as long as you're not trying to get him to give it to you."
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"She's very pretty," she tells Michael. "Does she have a name?"
The trash can gets a raised eyebrow.
"Am I to throw them in there?"
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Michael keeps making the same 'ba ba ba' sound as he pulls out a spiky plastic dinosaur from his inventory and hands it to her.
"She doesn't want that," Wilford says.
The kid is stubborn as hell, and being told no only seems to make him want her to take it even more. This trickery may get more difficult if the kid ever starts to talk, but for now it's the best tool Wilford has.
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He's obviously a bright kid. He understands the concept of an inventory and how to use it. That's a huge step.
She takes the dinosaur and smiles genuinely. "Thank you."
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Michael pulls out another dinosaur, this one with a long neck, and hands it to her, while Wilford continues to make noises of protest.
Apparently making Wilford grumpy is a fun game!
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It is a fun game. and one that's not terribly difficult.
Tess makes dinosaur noises with the toys.
"Are they friends?"
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It's squishy, and dripping.
Luckily, Wilford is close on hand with some wet wipes.
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"I don't think dinosaurs ate potatoes."
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For a second, Wilford almost has something to say about that, but he decides to leave it. He'll deal with disappearing crayons later, but not so much later that they appear on his walls first.
"Ba ba ba ba ba ba."
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"Ba ba ba ba," Michael says.
He pulls out a handful of soggy, mouldy crackers. Before he can even hand it over, Wilford rushes in to get it into the trash, and to scrub Michael's hands with one of the wet wipes.
"The hell is wrong with you?" he asks.
Michael is torn between trying to flee, and cackling. Something about this situation is clearly hilarious.
"Yeah, real funny," Wilford agrees, finally letting him go. Gross. He tosses the wipe into the trash, and takes the whole thing out to the hall so it doesn't stink up his room.
"That should be the last of it. I don't think he has that much room."
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The rest she looks slightly amused at as well.
"You act like a mess is the worst thing in the world."
She understands not wanting to clean them up all the time, but it's to be expected.
The dinosaurs are held out to the boy and she makes more noises for them.
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He's lived alone his entire life. No messes, no trouble, everything exactly where he wants it, as he wants it.
When Tess starts making noises, Michael forgets all about making Wilford grumpy.
"Ba ba ba ba!" he shouts back.
"That's all he says," Wilford says. "We've had a few flukes, but I think that's all it was."
He goes to pick up the backpack, to see what was packed along with the kid. It probably needs to be emptied out and thrown in the wash just for good measure.
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"You need to reward the flukes and continue to speak to him normally. Teach him the proper words for things. Have you got him a speech therapist?"
She assumes yes, but it doesn't hurt to ask.
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Even with Wilford's extremely limited experience with his friends' children, he knows that was all kinds of too late.
"He told Teja to fuck off once." Or something similar. 'Fuck' was definitely the key component to whatever Michael had said. Wilford was too busy laughing to even consider how to appropriately handle that.
"You ready, pipsqueak?" he says to Michael. "Get your friends. Let's go."
"Ba ba ba ba," says Michael as he starts carefully picking up his toys one by one and putting them back into his inventory.
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"Is he eating all right now?"
Then she smiles back down at Michael again.
"He knows what you're saying, at least. That's a good sign."
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When Michael's done packing away all his toys, he trots over to Wilford, only to shy away before he can be picked up. He deliberates very carefully on the situation at hand before deciding he'd rather go with Tess.
"He'll punch you in the face. Watch out," Wilford warns.
They've been working on that too, but apparently tiny minds can only handle learning so many new concepts at once.
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She holds out a hand to Michael, curious to see what he'll do.
"I've been punched in the face before, but the warning is appreciated."
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